First Love

In the article "First Love" by Lena Dunham the story of Dunham's first love is told.  She describes this man as being her "best friend" and being the only man she's every truly loved.  During their adventure, she explains how he liked her more than she liked him but then she was all of a sudden in love with him.  She explains how she started wearing clogs and cooking him gluten free meals.  She gradually stopped hanging out with her friends.  She states how relationships change people.  I agree with this statement that relationships change people, which can be a good thing.  However, when you are changing to the point where you no longer know who you are on your own or you are no longer hanging out with your friends, something is not right.  The person who you are in love with should want you to be yourself and have fun with your friends as well as them.

Near the end of the article, Noah left her.  The article did not say that they had a fight but rather he abruptly left her, leaving her broken-hearted.  He simply had a change of heart.  He came back later, hoping to rekindle their relationship but she denied him.  After he had left, she befriended her old friends and accepted their relationship being over.  She realized he was not as great as she had thought.  Relationships, especially when you are in love, can blind a person and do not allow you to see or think as clearly.  At the very end of the article, it comes out that Noah was "involved with a man," Dunham threw-up when she heard of this.  Both of these people were pretending in their relationship.  However, once they were true to themselves, they were able to realize that their love was not real either.

Their relationship and the experiences they had with each other helped them to decipher what it was they truly wanted out of a relationship.  This article seems to support the idea that knowing what love is comes from experience; you have to fail at love several times first.  This seems awfully depressing to have to break your heart before you can find what you really want.  Is this the only case?  Is there another story out there that gives hope for finding love the first time around?

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2012/08/13/first-love-3